Hi.
Let's take a break from the asking.
Just for six minutes.
Sit up a little taller.
your Let feet rest flat.
Let your hands open on your lap.
Now breathe in slowly.
Let your chest widen.
Let your ribs spread out to the sides.
And breathe out.
But stay wide.
Don't shrink back down.
Notice how much room you take up.
Your elbows and knees.
Your whole shape in the chair.
You're allowed to take up that space.
All of it.
Hear the fire crackling.
Warm, and in no rush.
So.
How many asks this week?
The office potluck.
Can you bring two dozen cookies?
The neighbor's open house on Saturday.
Your cousin wants you to Your host.
kid's class needs a Your volunteer.
friend needs a ride to the And airport.
every time, you hear yourself say...
sure.
Of course.
No Then problem.
you hang up.
And your stomach Notice sinks.
where that pressure sits.
Maybe your throat, tight.
Maybe your shoulders, creeping up.
That's the part of you...
that doesn't want to let anyone down.
It's a kind part.
It means well.
But when you say yes to everything...
somebody gets left out.
Usually it's you.
And by late December...
you're running on fumes.
Showing up tired.
A little resentful.
That doesn't help anyone.
A kind no...
can be kinder than a tired yes.
So let's practice one.
Right here, where it's safe.
Think of one request.
Something you already know...
you don't have room for.
Picture the person asking.
Their face.
Their hopeful Now, voice.
before you answer...
breathe in.
And breathe out slowly.
Let your feet feel the floor.
Now say it.
Quietly, or just in Thank your head.
you so much for thinking of me.
I can't make it this year.
That's it.
No long excuse.
No story about how busy you are.
The more reasons you give...
the more room there is to argue.
Short and warm is enough.
Now notice what happens.
Maybe a little flutter of guilt.
Let it flutter.
notice something else.
You're okay.
The room didn't fall down.
Picture them nodding.
Maybe they say, no worries.
Maybe they're a little disappointed.
Either way, they'll be fine.
People hear no all the time.
Most of them move on in a day.
say it once more.
Breathe in first...
Thank you so much for thinking of me.
I can't make it this year.
Notice it's a little easier the second time.
Your voice is a little steadier.
Now rest in the room you just made.
That no gave you something back.
An evening.
Maybe a whole Saturday.
Feel it around you.
Open and quiet.
Warm, like the fire.
Breathe in...
And out...
You get to keep this space.
You don't owe it to anyone.
Think about what you'll do with it.
Maybe nothing at all.
Maybe sleep in.
Maybe read by the fire.
And when you do say yes this season...
it can be a real yes.
One you're glad to give.
Alright.
Back to your week.
Sit up tall again.
Take up your space.
One more breath in...
And out.
Here's your next step.
Pick one request this week.
The one that's been sitting heaviest.
Answer it with that same line.
Thank you so much for thinking of me.
I can't make it this year.
Send it soon.
While the words still feel easy.
Then put your phone down.
Just one no.
Go find that request now.