Okay.
Something got to you.
Maybe it's still getting to you right now.
You don't have to pretend you're calm to do this.
You can come in angry.
That's actually the point.
Sit down somewhere.
Put both feet flat on the floor.
You can close your eyes, or just look down at a spot in front
of you.
Here's something worth knowing.
Anger is information.
It usually shows up when something matters to you, or when a line got
crossed.
There's nothing wrong with you for feeling it.
So we won't shove it away.
We'll listen to it first, and then cool it down.
Let's find where it lives.
Anger almost always has a location.
Check your jaw first.
Are your teeth pressed together?
A lot of people carry it right there.
Now your chest.
It might feel hot, or tight, or kind of buzzy.
Like something's pushing outward.
Your shoulders, too.
They might be creeping up toward your ears without you asking them to.
And your hands.
Are they curled up?
Gripping your knees?
You don't need to fix it.
Just notice.
Wherever the heat is strongest, rest your attention there for a moment.
It's allowed to be there.
Now we cool it.
Picture the air around you as cool, like the air right beside a mountain
stream.
Breathe in through your nose...
slowly...
two, three, four.
Feel that cool air come in.
And breathe out through your mouth...
five, six, seven, eight.
Let some heat go with it.
In again...
cool air...
all the way down into your chest.
And out...
long and slow...
like letting you're steam off a pot.
One more.
In through the nose...
cool and clean.
And out...
longer the than in-breath.
Unclench your jaw on the way out.
Keep that rhythm going on your own.
Short in, long out.
If your mind jumps back to what happened, and it probably will, that's fine.
Just come back to the cool air.
Now, gently,
let's look under the anger.
There's almost always something sitting below it.
Maybe it's hurt.
Somebody let you down, and it stung.
Maybe it's fear.
Something feels out of your control, and anger feels a lot better than feeling
helpless.
Or maybe it's just plain unfair, and part of you is standing up for
yourself.
Honestly, that part deserves some credit.
If this is an old one, a resentment you've carried a long time, notice
how heavy it's gotten.
Setting it doesn't down mean what happened was okay.
You don't need a perfect answer.
Just see what's there.
Say it to yourself quietly, in a word or two.
Let's rest here for a bit.
Breathing cool air.
Heat slowly leaving.
Nothing to solve yet.
Notice the temperature now.
It might not be gone.
That's okay.
It's probably lower than it was.
From here, you get to choose one calm thing to do.
Something you'd still stand behind tomorrow, once the heat is gone.
Maybe that's waiting an hour before you reply.
Maybe it's saying, plainly, "That hurt me."
Maybe it's a walk around the block first.
one.
Pick Just one.
You don't have to do it right now.
Hold it for a breath.
Now start coming back.
Open and close your hands a few times.
Let your fingers stretch out wide.
Roll your shoulders.
Move your jaw side to it's side, been working hard.
When you're ready, open your eyes.
Look at something in the room that has nothing to do with any of
this.
A cup.
A plant.
The light on the wall.
You felt the fire and you didn't let it drive.
If it flares up again you later,
know the way back.
Cool air in.
Long breath out.