Maybe you're packing the car.
Maybe the pie's in the oven and you've got a few minutes before everyone
shows up.
Either way, it's the night before Thanksgiving, and family's coming, or you're going to
them.
And you might be looking forward to it.
You might be dreading it a bit.
For a lot of us, it's honestly both.
So before you walk in, let's breathe first.
Sit down somewhere.
Close your eyes if you can.
Let your hands rest on your legs.
Breathe in slowly through your nose...
And let it out through your mouth, like a long sigh.
Again.
In...
And out...
letting your shoulders come down.
Now let's practice a breath you can take at the table.
One that nobody will notice.
Keep your mouth closed.
Breathe in quietly through your nose, just a normal-sized breath.
Then breathe out through your nose, slowly.
Twice as long as the in-breath.
No sigh.
No sound.
Once more.
Quiet breath in.
And a slow, quiet breath out.
Feel your feet on the floor while you do it.
That's You it.
can do that in the middle of a conversation.
While someone's passing the potatoes.
Nobody will know, and it'll bring you back to yourself.
Now, something that happens to almost everyone at family gatherings.
You walk in the door as a grown and adult,
within ten minutes you feel about fourteen.
There's the old role waiting for you.
Maybe you're the peacemaker.
Maybe you're the one who's supposed to have it all together.
That doesn't mean you've failed at growing up.
Families just have old grooves, and it's easy to slide right back into them.
And there are the questions.
So, are you seeing anyone?
When are real you getting a job?
You know the ones.
See if you can picture one of those moments now.
Not to get worked up.
Just to notice the pull toward the old reaction.
Now picture yourself taking the quiet table breath instead.
In through the nose...
And a long, slow breath out.
You don't have to take the bait.
You can smile, say something short and friendly, and change the subject.
"Oh, still figuring that out.
How's your garden doing?"
That's a perfectly good answer.
If your mind is already running through who might say what, that's normal.
Just come back to your feet on the floor.
You get to decide how you show up.
Say this to yourself quietly.
I can be warm where I can.
I can hold a boundary where I need to.
I don't have to fix anyone this week.
A boundary can be small.
Something like, "I'd rather not get into that today."
You can say it kindly and still mean it.
Think of one person who'll that be there you're actually glad A to see.
cousin, or maybe,
a kid who'll want to show you something.
Let yourself look forward to that part.
Rest here for Warm.
a moment.
Nobody Steady.
needs anything from you just yet.
One more thing before you go.
It's okay to step outside for air.
Offer to take the trash out, or go stand on the porch for two
minutes.
A few minutes of cold air is often how people make it through the
whole evening still being kind.
And if you need a plan for leaving, know what time you'd like to
go,
and let yourself go then.
And if someone gets under your skin anyway,
that's Take okay.
the quiet breath and start again.
Now start to come back.
Wiggle your fingers.
Roll your shoulders once or And twice.
open your eyes.
Take one last quiet breath,
the table kind.
However tomorrow goes,
you've got a way back to yourself now.
Go eat some good food.