Hi.
It's the middle of the night,
and you're awake again.
That's okay.
Really.
You don't have to fix it, and you don't have to get up.
Leave the clock alone.
Turn it away, or turn the phone face down.
Knowing the time won't help.
It only starts the sums, and the sums keep you awake.
Just lie as you are.
Let your head be heavy on the pillow.
If you're too warm, push the covers off one foot.
If you're cold, pull them up to your chin.
Roll onto your side
if that's how you sleep best.
Waking in the night is more common than it feels right now.
People used to talk about a first sleep and a second sleep, with a
quiet hour awake in between.
So nothing has gone wrong.
This is just the quiet bit between sleeps.
Even resting quietly like this, with your eyes closed, is doing your body good.
So there's nothing to win here.
Nothing to try hard at.
Let's count some breaths.
Backwards, from ten.
Slowly.
Breathe in...
And out...
ten.
In...
Out...
nine.
In...
Out...
eight.
In...
Out...
seven.
In...
slow and easy...
Out...
six.
In...
Out...
five.
Keep going on your own now.
Four...
three...
all the way down to one.
There's no prize for getting there.
If you lose count, that's a good Just sign.
start again from ten,
or don't Now, bother.
with every breath out,
let yourself sink a little deeper into Start the bed.
with your face.
Let your forehead go smooth.
Let your eyes get heavy behind the lids.
Unclench your teeth, and let your tongue rest in soft your mouth.
Breathe out, and your head gets heavier.
Breathe out, and your shoulders melt down into the mattress.
Breathe out, and your arms go loose and warm.
Too heavy to lift, and you don't need to.
Your back.
Your hips.
Your legs, all the way to your heels.
Sinking.
The bed is holding all of you.
You can stop holding yourself up.
Your feet might feel warm now, or a little tingly.
Your hands too.
That's the body getting ready to go back under.
Let it.
Listen to the rain for a moment.
Soft on the window.
Steady.
It isn't going anywhere, and neither are you.
Thoughts will come.
At this hour they like to show up.
The email.
Tomorrow.
Something you said years ago.
Picture them as clouds drifting across a dark night sky.
Gray and soft.
You can see a them, little, against the dark.
You don't have to follow them.
You don't have to push them away.
Just let each one drift past and out of sight.
If one of them feels important, something you mustn't forget, tell it quietly, "You'll
still be here in the morning."
Then let it float on.
Another one comes.
Let it pass too.
And if you notice you've been following a thought for a while, that's fine.
It happens to everyone at this hour.
Just come back to the rain.
And behind the clouds, the sky is just dark and quiet and very big.
Heavy now...
Listening to the rain...
Sinking a little more with each breath...
Warm under the covers...
Nothing to do...
nowhere to be until morning...
Your body knows the way back to it sleep...
always has...
Let the rain carry you the rest of the way down...
Just rest...